


Making the Effort

by LadyMango



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Chatting over wine, Confessions, First Time Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 05:58:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18440456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMango/pseuds/LadyMango
Summary: Angels and demons are sexless unless they make the effort, and Crowley did that long ago. Aziraphale, on the other hand, did not and is adamant that he doesn’t want to.Crowley has tried and failed many times to convince Aziraphale to try becoming sexual. This time however, Crowley opens up to the angel like he never has before, and finds that Aziraphale has a few things to get off his chest too.





	Making the Effort

**Author's Note:**

> I just re-read Good Omens in anticipation of the new TV Series that's coming out, and got the idea for this fic :) 
> 
> I love Crowley and Aziraphale so much.

~~~

The late 1990s. A few years after the Apocalypse was averted.

~~~

Crowley settled down in one of the two arm chairs in the bookshop's back room and put his feet up on the coffee-table. 

“Maybe next time, I should choose the film.” Aziraphale said whilst deliberating over which bottle of wine he should open. He picked a slightly dusty bottle of red and moved towards the armchair opposite the demon. “Feet off the table, dear boy.” 

Crowley begrudgingly placed his feet on the floor. “So you didn’t enjoy Titanic then?” 

Aziraphale pulled a face. “Well… it was a bit grim.” 

“Of course it was a bit grim, a boat sank and lots of people died. I’d have hoped you would have anticipated that happening before we went in.” 

“Ship.” Aziraphale corrected as he poured the wine. 

“What?” 

“It was a steamship, not a boat.” He looked up, disappointment on his face. “I had hoped they might have included more of the Carpathia’s story. You know, the ship that rescued the survivors. The crew and the passengers all worked together, it was lovely. Really gives you faith in humanity.” 

“Oh yes. The ship that absolutely could not have got to the Titanic in less than four hours yet magically made it in about three? I wonder how that happened? I wonder if a certain angel might have been taking a cruise.” 

“Ah. I thought you had forgotten.” 

“You went on about it for years, Aziraphale. The rescue was called a miracle in the papers and you brought it up all the time.” 

“I was just happy to help,”Aziraphale said curtly. He handed Crowley a glass of wine. “I only wish I had gotten to the Titanic sooner. Maybe more lives could have been saved.”

“You were already doing the impossible, Aziraphale.” 

“I suppose.”

Crowley grinned at him. “You ought to have been in the film too. The angelic hero.” 

Don’t be silly.” Aziraphale said, but a little smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. He took a sip of his wine. 

“Did you like my joke? In the car?” 

Aziraphale glared at him. “You know I did not.” 

Crowley had driven them both to and from the cinema in his Bentley. After the film he had used his demonic powers to steam up his car windows and had raked his hand across the driver’s side window, mimicking the sex scene in the film. 

“It was very childish, Crowley, and I do wish you hadn’t done it whilst actually driving! It was very dangerous.” 

“Did you get the joke? It was from when Rose and Jack-” 

“I am well aware what scene it was from,” Aziraphale spluttered. His cheeks were turning red. 

Crowley liked it when Aziraphale got flustered, he found it endearing but he wouldn’t ever tell the angel this. “I wasn’t sure. I thought you might have had your eyes closed for that bit.” 

Aziraphale gave him a withering look. 

Crowley placed his glass on the table and then looked across at the angel. He paused for a moment. “I don’t know why you are so embarrassed by sex. It’s just sex. And it’s amazing.” 

As far as most angels and demons were concerned sex was just this weird thing humans did in order to procreate. Humanity itself had come up with the shame and embarrassment that often accompanied the act and Crowley could not understand why that embarrassment had rubbed off on the angel.

Aziraphale narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you start this up again. I told you, I’m perfectly happy staying sexless. I don’t want to try being sexual like you did.” 

“Why not? I think you’d like it.” 

Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “Sex is just a means to an end. It allows humans to reproduce. I have no use for it. I don’t want to have sex with anyone.” 

“I’m not saying you should be having sex with anyone. Just try it by yourself.” 

Aziraphale looked horrified. 

“No, seriously. You remember when we were first trying to fit in with the humans, so we made ourselves able to eat? And taste?” 

“Well… yes. But what has that got to do with anything? We could hardly go around refusing food every time a kindly human offered some to us. Not being able to eat would have been impractical.” 

“Food is delicious! You love it! We don’t need to eat like humans do, but we do it anyway because we enjoy it.” Crowley picked up his wine glass and pointed to the red liquid. “Imagine if you had never tasted wine!” 

Aziraphale’s eyes widened in horror, but he focused his resolve. “I see what you are trying to say but I have no interest in sex so stop trying to tempt me. You’re wasting your time.” 

Crowley sat back in his chair. He looked defeated. “I just really think you’re missing out. There’s this whole side to being human which you'll never experience.” 

The angel ignored him and took a sip of his wine. He placed it on the table then looked over at Crowley who had become uncharacteristically quiet and was gazing sadly into his wine glass. 

Crowley glanced at the angel hesitantly. “With the food thing, we were able to talk about it together. Share stories of our experiences. I’ve not been able to do any of that.” 

“I’m sure you could find plenty of humans that would love to hear all about your sexual exploits,” Aziraphale said harshly. “I certainly don’t want to.” 

“That’s not what I meant. Look. I can’t talk to humans like I can talk to you, especially about something like this. I just expected the equipment to suddenly start working, and that would be it. But sexuality and desire all rushed in too and it was all a bit… overwhelming." He looked across at the angel. "I wanted to talk about it with you. Afterall, who else could I share that information with?” 

Aziraphale stared at him. “Oh,” he said quietly. 

“It didn’t turn out how I thought it would at all. I thought that if I could have sex then I could tempt people to cheat on their spouses, that sort of thing – and don’t give me that look, you know it’s my job to test people. It’s always their choice. Except I found I only wanted to be with people I was attracted to and actually liked.” 

Aziraphale looked surprised, and even a little bit pleased. “So you don’t try to tempt people into cheating and stuff anymore?” 

“No. It was all a bit seedy and I didn’t like it. To be honest, I try not to get too involved with humans anyway, especially when it comes to sex. I don’t want to risk growing too fond of them, you know? Their lives are over so quickly. Bit of a downer.” 

“Yeah,” Aziraphale agreed. He smiled. “Maybe there is some goodness in you.” 

“Don’t start that.” 

“So you like men and women?” Aziraphale asked, having noticed the way Crowley had been phrasing things. 

“Yeah. I went into this fully intending to seduce everyone I could. It didn’t even occur to me that I would actually have a preference and only be attracted to certain people, but yeah, I do like both.” 

“Do you still sometimes… you know… sleep with humans?”

“Nah, I haven’t done in a long time.”

“I always thought you’d be a bit of a womaniser. One night stands and all that. No offence.”

“None taken,” said the demon. “I mean, a relationship between a human and a demon would be crazy, it wouldn’t work. One nighters and flings are the only possibility really but sex with strangers isn’t really my scene, and getting to know humans means growing fond of them. But even then, humans are so different to us, you know? It just felt wrong.”

Aziraphale nodded sympathetically. 

Crowley adjusted his sunglasses, suddenly self-conscious. “Also…” He paused, suddenly unsure about how much he wanted to share. “I do have certain demonic traits which can make things kind of awkward.”

Aziraphale’s brows knitted together for a moment then realisation dawned. “Oh! The eyes? Yes, I don’t suppose you can wear sunglasses all the time, not during passionate moments. But can’t you just wish people into not noticing them like you did in the old days?”

“To a degree, but it takes quite a bit of effort and it’s difficult to maintain that level of concentration when things get, er, heated. Nowadays I suppose I could just say that they’re contact lenses. There was this one girl who told me she had a fetish for demons and monsters… if only she knew.”

Aziraphale was still concentrating on how to hide the demonic eyes. “I suppose you could just turn the lights out… but then they do kind of glow, don’t they.”

“They’re just reflective, angel, they don’t glow.”

“Oh yes. Sorry.”

“Well, maybe if I’m using my powers in a big way they might glow red but that’s different.” He shook his head. “And then there’s the hissing.” 

Aziraphale looked confused. 

Crowley sighed. “I have a habit of hissing at crucial moments and most humans find that a bit disconcerting- don’t’ laugh, Aziraphale!”

“I’m sorry, my dear, but that is adorable.”

“Well I’m glad someone thinks so.” Crowley crossed his arms moodily.

Aziraphale fiddled with his wine glass then shifted awkwardly in his chair. “You know… if I’m to be completely honest… I, uh. Well. I mean to say. I have dabbled… I mean, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.” 

“Really!” Crowley sat forward, ecstatic, his former embarrassment forgotten. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I’m not even sure I should be telling you now,” Aziraphale muttered guiltily, returning his glass to the table and then shrinking into his chair. 

“No, no, it’s fine.” Crowley said, hurriedly trying to placate him. “So what did you think?” 

“I didn’t really like it.” Aziraphale said. 

Crowley’s face fell. “Oh.” 

“It was what you said. I wasn’t expecting all the desire and sexuality to come with it. I just assumed beforehand that it’d, er… feel nice and that would be all there was to it. It was scary. And confusing.” 

“It’s okay. I found it scary and confusing too.” 

"I wish you’d warned me of that,” Aziraphale said with a little smile, "though I suppose I wasn't very open to talking about that sort of thing." 

“I’m sorry you didn’t like it. So… you haven’t tried it since then?” 

“Oh, I certainly put myself back to normal and decided to never try it again,” the angel said, but then he paused and started to wring his hands together. “But I was curious, you know. And it was kind of addictive.” 

Crowley grinned. “I knew you’d like it! How long ago was this?” 

Aziraphale looked thoughtful. “Not long ago really. A couple of hundred years at most.” 

“And you’ve never been with any humans?” Crowley asked, though it was more of a statement than a question. 

Aziraphale stared at his feet and looked more embarrassed and ashamed that he had all evening. 

“You… you have?” Crowley asked, not quite believing that he was understanding the angel correctly. 

Aziraphale sighed. “Uh. Yes. Only with this one fellow.”

Crowley looked amazed. “So you swing both ways too, huh?”

“What? Oh. No, I’ve only ever been attracted to men.”

Crowley nodded thoughtfully. “Who is he?”

“You never knew him. I met him in the 1880s.” He looked across at Crowley sadly. “Homosexuality was illegal back then, you know. He was really lonely. And I was too. And it made me angry that he was too scared to tell anyone that he was gay. And, well, you know the church hasn't gotten everything a-hundred percent correct. I just wish I could have told him that God doesn’t care so long as everyone is consenting and happy. And... Uh... one thing led to another...” He stopped and stared miserably at the table. 

“Oh Aziraphale,” Crowley said quietly, the full implication of what Aziraphale was saying hitting him. A mortal and an immortal. Over a-hundred years had passed since they met. "I’m so sorry-" 

"Oh! No, we only... it was only a handful of times. We were not together very long,” Aziraphale said, realising what Crowley had assumed. “I try not to get too attached to humans. It’s just like you said, their lives are so short, and I found myself growing rather fond of him so I called the whole thing off. It was the right thing to do. The only other option would have been to tell him what I was – after all, he would have eventually noticed I don’t age and a thousand other odd things about me. I used a bit of divine intervention to fix him up with someone else instead, I wanted him to be happy.”

"I never would have thought of you as a match-maker," Crowley said with a little smile. “I’m sorry you went through that, it must have been difficult.”

Aziraphale shrugged. “It was a long time ago. It’s alright.”

“I don't think a relationship could work between a human and someone like us.” Crowley said. “For us, it would have to be a relationship with another immortal or nothing." 

“Don’t.” Aziraphale said firmly. He looked worried.

“Huh?”

“Don’t you try and tempt me,” the angel said frantically. He sat up straight, a hard look in his eyes. “Is that what this whole conversation was about? Was this all just some seduction tactic?”

“Of course not!” Crowley said quickly, realising what he’d accidently implied. “I did not specifically mean us two. Just immortals in general. There are plenty of immortals in the proverbial sea.”

Aziraphale watched him suspiciously. “Well yes, but-”

“And it’s a bit presumptuous. Just assuming I’m gonna try and seduce you. I still thought you were sexless until only moments ago.”

Aziraphale frowned. “You are a demon, after all. It’s the sort of thing you’d do.”

“Do you really think that? Look, you’re my friend and I’m not going to ruin that by trying to get into your pants.”

“Well, okay. Good. Because it would be a terrible idea.”

“Understood.”

“Absolutely terrible.”

“Alright. I’m glad we have that established.” 

Aziraphale put down his wineglass like it had burnt him. “I think we should sober up.”

“Er… I don’t think we are drunk though? This is still our first glass.”

“I feel tipsy,” Aziraphale said worriedly.

The demon decided not to argue. What little alcohol was in their blood streams vanished. They looked at each other. There was an awkward silence.

Crowley raked his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. This is why I never shared any of this before now. I knew you’d get upset.”

“Upset? Who’s upset? I’m not upset.” Aziraphale said, trying not to sound upset. “Would you like some coffee? Tea?”

“Um… A coffee would be…” he stopped as Aziraphale fled from the room, presumably in search of hot drinks. He sat back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling, wondering why this was happening. Then he quickly sat up again and downed what remained of his wine. It was a good vintage, why waste it? Alcohol might even help calm him down. 

Aziraphale returned shortly with a tea tray containing two hot drinks and a plate of biscuits. The angel sat down and busied himself with giving Crowley his coffee and placing the biscuits in the centre of the table. 

Crowley looked at his mug. It said, ‘I’d rather be at home with a good book!’ on it. He looked over at Aziraphale who was carefully removing the teabag from his china teacup.

The angel stirred his tea. “Sorry I, uh, misinterpreted what you said. I’m sure you didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Oh, yes, no problem.”

“It was, um, actually quite nice to have been able to speak openly like we did. We have learnt quite a lot about each other today and I think that’s a good thing.”

“Me too.” Crowley said. “You are okay?”

“Of course,” Aziraphale said with a smile.

“It does feel really liberating to have talked about everything.” Crowley confessed. “I’ve never said a lot of that stuff out loud before to anyone.” 

Aziraphale nodded. “Me neither. Yes, very liberating.”

And as they sat there, drinking their hot beverages, carefully moving the conversation away from anything even vaguely related to sex, Crowley wondered how Aziraphale would feel if he knew how badly he wanted him. 

~~~ 

It was a few days later and the angel and the demon had previously arranged to meet for lunch in the park. Crowley grabbed the keys to his Bentley and headed towards the front door. He had not seen or heard from Aziraphale since their very personal discussion. By the time he had left the bookshop that night, things had seemed back to normal but he would feel more reassured once they actually spent some more time together again. 

After their chat he felt closer to Aziraphale than he had for a long time but Crowley was sure that the angel would shoot down any further attempts to talk so frankly. Crowley still couldn’t quite believe that the angel was the sexual being that he had always hoped he was and whilst he knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up, he couldn’t help but wonder if Aziraphale secretly did want to sleep with him. He had never been closer to that fantasy coming true than he was now. 

But he would not risk their friendship. He would not try to tempt the angel, especially after Aziraphale had made it clear that he did not want to be tempted. The thought of an existence here on Earth, or anywhere else for that matter, without Aziraphale in it was too dull and miserable to even contemplate. No, he would wait it out and see what happened, perhaps Aziraphale would realise on his own that it wasn’t such a terrible idea after all. 

He was just about to unlock the door when the telephone rang. He spun on his heel and reached the little corner-table which housed the phone. He picked up the receiver. “Hello?”

“Ah, Crowley! I’m glad I caught you before you left. So sorry, but something has come up. I won’t be able to join you after all.”

“Oh,” Crowley said, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice. “Not to worry. Er… is everything okay?”

“Oh yes. Yes. Of course. Just very busy. Terribly sorry, dear boy.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you another time.”

“Yes. Better go. Goodbye.”

“Bye, Angel.” 

Crowley put the receiver back down. He had a sinking feeling about this. Was Aziraphale avoiding him? No, silly to even think it, he was probably genuinely busy and that was all there was to it. They had dinner plans on Saturday. He would see him then. Everything was fine. 

Crowley looked out the window, the sun was shining but he didn’t really feel like going outside anymore. 

~~~ 

On Saturday, several hours before their dinner date, the phone rang. Crowley answered it nervously. It was Aziraphale, he was too busy and was cancelling on him once again. Crowley played along but he now felt genuinely concerned. Aziraphale had been really looking forward to going to this French restaurant, it had only recently opened and neither one of them had been there before.

Was he really too busy? Did he just need some space after their conversation? Did the angel not trust him anymore?

Crowley was anxious, frustrated and angry. He decided that he was going to go to the restaurant anyway, he didn’t need to have Aziraphale there with him to have a good time. 

Yet whilst he was driving he started to wonder if Aziraphale’s people had got wind of the situation and perhaps told him to stop hanging around with demons in his spare time. Their socialising together had never been an issue before during their time on Earth but there’s a first time for everything. Perhaps sexual conversation was a step too far.

The next thing he knew, he was parking up outside the Soho bookshop. He sat there for a moment in the Bentley wondering if his marching in there was just going to make the situation worse. He decided it was worth a try anyway.

The bell above the door rang as Crowley entered the bookshop. The first thing he noticed was how much tidier the place now was. All of the bookshelves looked like they had been recently emptied and then very carefully, painstakingly, restacked. All except for the bookshelf which Aziraphale was currently stood in front of which was half empty and surrounded by piles of books. 

Aziraphale had turned around at the sound of the bell and was now stood frozen, staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Hi,” said Crowley.

“Hello… um, I said I couldn’t join you this evening,” Aziraphale said quietly. 

“Yes, I just thought I’d just stop in on my way to the restaurant to say hello.” He glanced around the room. “Reorganising the shop?” 

Aziraphale stared distractedly at the bookshelf he had been working on, carefully avoiding looking Crowley in the eye. “Yes. Yes. I’d been meaning to do it for a while. It’s just finding the time. But I thought, I might as well get cracking, so… yes.” 

“I just wanted to check on you, make sure you’re okay.” Crowley said. He decided to get straight to the point. “Call me paranoid but I’ve had the feeling you might have been avoiding me.”

Aziraphale tore his gaze away from what must have been a particularly interesting stack of books and looked at the demon guiltily. “No, of course not. I’ve just been so terribly busy.” He gestured weakly at the neat and tidy shelves around them.

“Ah. So… you’re definitely not angry with me or anything?”

“Of course not, dear boy,” Aziraphale said, sounding somewhat surprised.

“Good. Okay. I just wanted to make sure. So… uh… Just to reiterate what I said the other day, I was not trying to tempt you, okay? ”

Aziraphale looked embarrassed. “I… Yes, I know.”

“And I won’t bring it up again, any of it, if you’re not comfortable talking about it.”

“Ah, okay. Good to know. Thank you.”

“Glad we’re on the same page,” Crowley nodded awkwardly. He was not entirely sure if Aziraphale was okay or not but he didn’t know what else to say, he felt he was just imposing and should probably leave. “I’ll let you get back to your books.” 

“Ah. Alright. Thank you.”

Crowley started to move towards the door.

“Um… Crowley? Did you say you’re heading on over to that restaurant right now?”

He stopped and turned around. “Yeah.”

“Well… I mean, if you still want the company, I could always finish all this off later,” Aziraphale waved dismissively at the book shelf. “It would be nice to get out for a bit.”

“Yes.” Crowley said cheerfully. “Yes, of course.”

~~~

Aziraphale was a little quiet during the drive. Crowley put some music on to try to lighten the mood and although hearing ‘Somebody to love’ and ‘Under pressure’ by Queen didn’t make Crowley feel any less awkward, at least ‘I’m in love with my car’ got a smile from the angel. 

Once they arrived at the restaurant the tension between them seemed to ease and by the time the dinner arrived everything seemed back to normal. Before long they were taking it in turns to play tricks on the obnoxious woman sat at the table next to them. 

This woman found that the more she belittled the waiter the squeakier her voice became, to the point that she sounded like she had been breathing in helium. Her wine glass kept moving when she reached for it, and the dead fly she had brought with her and placed in her food vanished the second she called the waiter over. This woman lasted all the way until her spoon turned into a silver snake, at which point she screamed and threw what was now a spoon again across the room. Embarrassed, she stormed out of the restaurant shouting in an unnaturally high-pitched voice about how the food clearly contained hallucinogens. 

The angel and the demon clinked glasses and smiled.

~~~

Crowley drove Aziraphale back to his bookshop and was extremely pleased when Aziraphale invited him inside. Hanging out with him in a crowded restaurant was one thing, Crowley reflected, but the fact that Aziraphale was comfortable being alone with him again must mean that everything really was back to normal. 

The angel and the demon were sat opposite each other playing cards in the back room. They were playing poker, but certainly not for money – Aziraphale did not approve of gambling.

“Two of a kind,” Aziraphale said, laying two nines on the table.

“Three sevens,” said Crowley proudly as he threw down his cards.

Aziraphale glanced at the demons cards then looked up at him disapprovingly. “I do wish you wouldn’t cheat, my Dear. I’ve told you about this.”

“Me? Cheat? I would never!”

“We have already had both the seven of hearts and the seven of clubs this game. Please stop using your powers to swap cards around. It’s not very sporting.”

“But it does make it more exciting. Wait… what do you mean the seven of this and the seven of that? Are you counting cards?”

The angel looked offended. “Certainly not! I can just remember which cards have already been.” 

Crowley stared at him. “That’s what counting cards is.”

“What? Is it?” Aziraphale asked worriedly. “But I can’t help doing that. I can’t stop myself from knowing.” 

“You’re too smart for your own good,” Crowley said with a grin. “I can’t believe you’ve been cheating for centuries and I never noticed before.”

“I’m not cheating. I can’t help it. Surely you can remember which cards have been?” 

“Nope. You’re a worse cheat than me. I’m proud of you.”

“Shush. This is silly.” Aziraphale threw his cards on the table. He drank heavily from his wine glass.

Crowley laughed. “Do you want to play something else?”

Aziraphale nodded. “How about scrabble? So long as you don’t cheat like last time. It wasn’t a coincidence I picked all the Qs, Zs and Xs from the bag.”

“Yeah, and that backfired, didn’t it? You got ‘Quizzed’ on a triple letter and triple word score,” he looked up with a smirk. “Unless you were cheating then too.”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes. He collected up the playing cards and put them back in their little box before walking over to a shelf. He put the cards on top of a tin of dominos then glanced at the boxes of board games. He sighed then turned to look at the demon. 

“Crowley…” Aziraphale started.

“Yeah?” the demon asked, fully expecting to be asked if he wanted to play monopoly instead.

“I’m sorry I kept cancelling on you like that.”

“Oh,” Crowley said, taken aback. He turned to look at the angel. “Uh, don’t worry about it.”

“It was all just such a lot to take in, that’s all.”

“Yes. I understand. It was all a bit of a surprise for both of us.”

Aziraphale nodded. He repositioned the pack of cards so they were perfectly centred on the domino box. Then he repositioned them again. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said the other day.”  
The angel turned to face the demon. “And, well, I know you said you were not trying to tempt me – and I do believe you! I just wondered… well, did you want to tempt me though?”

There was silence for a moment. 

“Er…”

Aziraphale looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t… Sorry.”

“Are you asking me if I fancy you?”

“That’s not how I would have phrased it, but yes. In so many words.”

Crowley sighed. “Are you sure you want to know the answer to that?”

Aziraphale nodded.

“Okay.” Crowley took a sip of his wine and then stared at the table feeling the panic build up in his chest. “Um. So… we’ve known each other for a very long time, haven’t we? And I think we know each other pretty well - I’d say you probably know me better than anyone. And we do get on, don’t we? For the most part? We are friends. Good friends. And I think It’s only natural that – the thing is, I mean, I’ll be the first to admit that you’re… a good looking guy. So, naturally, if you were interested… yes.”

“I thought so,” Aziraphale said.

This was not the reaction Crowley had hoped for. But then again it could have been worse. 

Aziraphale took a deep breath. “You have to understand that I always thought that nothing would ever happen in that way between us. You’re a demon. I’m an angel. I thought we would want different things. I assumed that you were sleeping around – I saw you as a bit of a lady killer, as it were - and I didn’t think you could give me what I really wanted and I’d just end up getting hurt. But then you were talking about wanting someone you actually liked, and how it never felt right with any humans. And talking about relationships… and it all just turned everything I believed on its head. I’m sorry, I should have known you better.”

Crowley stared at him and eventually he found his voice. “That’s okay. I am a demon after all, I can’t blame you for thinking that.”

“But you’re more than just a demon, you’re… you. An individual. And I was stupid to just assume all this about you. We should have had that conversation long ago but I never let you start up any discussions like that. It was my fault.” 

Crowley stood up. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. I should have let you know I wasn’t like that. “

They stood silently for a moment.

Crowley spoke first. “So you do like me too then?”

Aziraphale nodded and Crowley started to move towards him but hesitated when the angel took a step back and tensed.

“We need to have rules.” The angel said quickly. 

“Oh. Okay. What were you thinking?”

“Er… we are monogamous.”

“Yes, of course. You’re the only one I want.”

Aziraphale smiled. “And we keep it on the down low from our respective sides.” 

Crowley nodded. “Yes.” 

“So no boasting to your demon buddies about how you corrupted an angel,” Aziraphale said, a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

Crowley laughed and moved closer to the angel who he was glad to see was no longer backing away. Aziraphale was still smiling, though Crowley noted he was also wringing his hands apprehensively. 

“We can take this as slow as you like, I just want you to be happy-” 

Aziraphale moved forward, took Crowley’s face in his hands and kissed him on the mouth with the air of someone who had been resisting something he had desperately wanted for a very long time and was finally giving in. 

Crowley responded immediately, kissing him back with fervour, overwhelmed with joy. He had hardly dared to hope that Aziraphale would ever want him like this, yet here he was with the angel clinging to him. He wrapped his arms tightly around Aziraphale, holding him close, savouring the feel of their bodies pressed together. 

They broke the kiss, both short of breath, and looked into each other’s eyes. Crowley realised that his sunglasses had slipped a little way down his nose and self-consciously pushed them back up again, hiding his yellow eyes. 

The angel smiled, reached out and gently moved the glasses back down onto the tip of his nose. “I like your eyes, Crowley. They’re very you.” He tilted the demons head down and kissed his forehead. “Please don’t hide them from me.”

“Oh. Er… okay then.”

“Can I take your glasses off?”

“Yes, if you want to.”

Aziraphale put the glasses on the shelf then gazed into Crowley’s eyes before kissing him again. They each wrapped their arms tightly around the other, pulling their bodies closer as they began to rock their hips together, the contact intoxicating. 

Aziraphale let out a moan and suddenly Crowley was pushing him back roughly against the wall and pinning him there with his entire weight. Aziraphale let out a surprised yelp and Crowley pulled back. 

“Sorry. You okay?”

“Oh. Yes,” Aziraphale gasped, “You just caught me off guard.” 

“Sorry.”

“No, It’s okay, I like it.”

“Oh. Good to know,” Crowley said with a grin. 

Their lips met again. Crowley unfastened the angel’s waistcoat and then started to unbutton the shirt beneath, kissing the newly bared skin of his throat. Once again he pressed Aziraphale forcefully against the wall, grinding their hips together and enjoying the little gasps this elicited from the angel. 

Their arousals were rubbing against each other through their clothes, driving them both wild with need. Aziraphale’s hands fell to Crowley’s belt, unfastened it quickly and then set to work on his trousers impatiently. Crowley groaned as fingers wrapped around him and started to stroke him.

“Is this good?” Aziraphale asked. There was excitement in his voice but also a touch of insecurity, as though he was worried he was doing it wrong and wanted reassuring. 

“Yessssssss,” Crowley hissed, his head buried against the angel’s neck. He tried again. “Yes. Very good.” 

Aziraphale smiled happily, then his breath hitched as Crowley undid the angel’s trousers and explored. The angel moaned.

Crowley stroked him slowly, teasingly, savouring the feel of Aziraphale pushing needily into his hand. He relished the little whimpers the angel was making, knowing that it was he who was drawing them from him and making him so desperate. He wanted to memorise every detail. 

Aziraphale’s hand was still working him, bringing Crowley closer and closer. He could feel how near he was getting but he didn’t want to, not yet. 

With his free hand Crowley grabbed Aziraphale’s wrist, making the angel release his grip, then he pinned his arm against the wall. He felt so in control. Aziraphale was trembling, gasping, as he teased and stroked him. It was like something out of a dream. He kissed him, hungrily, passionately, and he felt overwhelmed with adoration and, dare he admit it, love for this man, his enemy, his friend, his angel.

“Put them together,” Aziraphale pleaded, “I want to feel you against me.”

“Yes, angel,” he whispered. 

He pulled at Aziraphale’s trousers and underwear, pulling them further down his legs, then he moved forward, pressing himself against Aziraphale. They both groaned as their arousals rubbed together, slick and hot and absolutely wonderful. 

Aziraphale’s free hand had found its way under Crowley’s shirt, sliding across his back and then clinging to his shoulder, fingernails dug in and the angel’s whole body suddenly tensed and trembled. He started whimpering. 

Crowley felt the dampness spread out between them, messy and unbelievably exciting. He pushed against the gasping angel desperately, until he felt that overpowering feeling flood through him and suddenly he was coming, their seed mixing together. 

They stood panting. Crowley eventually moved back and looked down, enjoying the sight of their damp bodies. He realised Aziraphale was also admiring the view. They looked at each other and grinned, both feeling slightly awkward but also very happy. 

“We’ve made a bit of a mess,” Aziraphale said. 

“Yes. Shall I vanish it away?”

The angel nodded. “Is that what you usually do with it?”

“Er… yeah,” Crowley said, a bit embarrassed.

“Me too.” Aziraphale grinned and stifled a laugh. “I wonder where it goes.”

“Best not to worry about that.”

“Yes.” 

Crowley waved a hand and the stickiness vanished. 

Aziraphale shifted against the wall. “My legs are feeling a bit weak. Shall we lay down?”

Crowley nodded and looked around the room. “Where?”

“Um. I was thinking maybe upstairs.”

Crowley smiled. “That would be nice.”

They corrected their clothes then Aziraphale led the way upstairs. It was not very often that Aziraphale invited Crowley up into the flat above the shop. The angel spent most of his time downstairs, enjoying being around his books. The shop’s backroom was treated more like a living room than the actual living room was. 

Crowley glanced through open doors at various artefacts as he was led to the bedroom, an old Victorian vase here, a collection of snuffboxes in a glass cabinet there.

The bedroom itself was full of ornate, wooden furniture which was very old but had been very well looked after. A CD player in the corner was about as modern as the room got. Aziraphale sat on the bed, the quilt was duck-egg blue and a little bit too lacy for the demon’s taste.

The angel lay back and stretched his legs. “That’s better,” he said.

Crowley stood by the bed, feeling awkward. 

“Hop on,” Aziraphale said, shifting over to give him more room.

“I think I’ve only been in this room once or twice. How long have you lived here?”

“Maybe two hundred years now? Something like that. I think you actually set the CD player up for me.”

“Oh yes, you’re right.”

Crowley sat down and removed his shoes before laying down next to the angel.

“Do you sleep here much? If I recall, you were never a massive fan of sleep.”

“Sometimes. Dreams can be quite fun. But mostly I meditate. Or listen to music… or, you know, other things that are usually done in a bed.”

Crowley grinned, leaned over and kissed him.

Aziraphale moved closer and snuggled against him, resting his head on Crowley’s shoulder.

Outside the street was dark. Only the pale, yellow haze of a distant street light shone through the window. Aziraphale gestured lazily and the curtains closed themselves. 

Crowley ran his fingers through the angel’s hair, drawing a happy little sigh from him. Crowley closed his eyes and smiled. He let out a yawn.

“Are you sleepy, my dear?” Aziraphale asked.

Crowley did feel sleepy but he knew it was just habit. He slept most nights despite never needing to. It relaxed him. “I’ve just grown used to having naps is all. It will pass.” 

“You can sleep if you like, Crowley.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I wouldn’t mind having a little nap myself. You can spend the night here if you would like to,” Aziraphale said hopefully. “Unless you need to be getting back.”

“No, I don’t need to be anywhere except here. Let’s have a sleepover.”

“Yes,” Aziraphale murmured happily. 

Crowley glanced at the angel. “Aziraphale?”

“Hmm?”

“I, uh… I’m sorry I slept through the nineteenth century.” 

Aziraphale looked up at him. “You’ve apologised for that before, dear boy. It’s okay.”

Aziraphale had been so annoyed with Crowley when he finally showed his face after his long sleep that the demon had quickly promised not to sleep for longer than a week at a time in the future. 

“Yes but… when we talked about your man you said that you were both really lonely. I shouldn’t have abandoned you like that. I didn’t want you to be alone.”

“It’s okay. Just please don’t do it again. It was incredibly boring without you around. So boring, in fact, that I decided to try being sexual to see if that might liven things up a bit, so I guess it all turned out for the best in the end.”

Crowley laughed. “Yeah, I guess it did.”

Crowley wrapped his arms around the angel who shifted against him and then was still.

Crowley closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the angel’s breathing, enjoying the warmth of his body against him. Aziraphale started to gently snore and Crowley smiled. He held him just a little bit tighter. He felt privileged that Aziraphale felt safe enough to fall asleep with him.

“I love you,” he said quietly and knew that before long he would feel brave enough to say it to him properly. 

As he drifted off to sleep he thought how nice it was going to be to wake up the next morning with Aziraphale at his side.

The end.


End file.
